My name is Tami Miller
Please call our office at 909-255-1250 to make a first-time appointment with one of our staff counselors.
Tami is no longer accepting new clients at Restoration Counseling Service. If you are interested in getting help for your marriage, you may want to look into the marriage coaching work that Tami and her husband, Brad, are doing together through Tandem Marriage. You will find more information at https://TandemMarriage.com/coaching.
Tami will continue in her role as Clinical Director at RCS, as well as continuing to train both LMFTs and AMFTs in marriage counseling, including affair recovery.
I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in couples counseling. While I enjoy helping clients in many areas, I have become best known for helping couples restore their marriages, even when they had believed there was no more hope.
Marriage can be a joy, but it can also be challenging and difficult at times. There is no question that marriage limits us in many ways, but it also profoundly multiplies who we can become if we are willing to do marriage the way it is intended. To put it plainly, if you know that your marriage could be or should be more than it is, you are probably right.
Even if you have come to believe that there is no hope left in your relationship, there still is. I have witnessed couples in that same predicament turn things around. In fact, I also have over thirteen years experience with difficult issues such as betrayal, blended families, sexual intimacy, infidelity and affairs. I have walked alongside of many hopeless spouse and have seen their marriages restored to be better than they could have ever imagined. I have heard it said that the pain from an affair is deeper than the death of a loved one! The overwhelming thoughts, fears, and feelings can be paralyzing. If this describes your current situation, you are likely reeling from questions such as:
• “Am I fool for even trying to work on our marriage?”
• “How will I ever be able to trust him (or her) again?
• “Will the all-consuming thoughts and images ever go away?”
• “How can the one who betrayed me and broke my heart also be the one to heal my broken heart?”
• “Was our relationship ever good or even real?”
• “Did he (or she) ever really love me?
These are just a few of the questions and concerns that I hear every day from couples that have experienced the devastation of an affair.
Affair recovery is quite unique and a highly specialized area of counseling. I urge you to take this very seriously when selecting a counselor. Trusting a one-size-fits-all counselor with affair recovery can make couples worse off than they were before they started counseling. As a result, there will likely be little progress in dealing with the devastation of the affair and your hope will continue to wane with each passing day that no progress is made. The journey to being restored is not an easy one, but the rewards far exceed the effort! I can honestly say that many former clients who worked hard and never gave up on the process now have thriving marriages, even better than they had before. Many restored couples have actually said, “What happened to us was devastating, but we are now better than we could have ever imagined!" I know it is hard to believe that you will ever see yourself saying those words, but I need to reassure you that it can happen if both of you are committed to the relationship.
Sexual intimacy challenges can rock a relationship at anytime. Are you newly married and surprised by the fact that your sex life is already struggling? Do you have young children and recently realized that your sex life is just not the same? Are you experiencing hormonal changes and the desire for physical intimacy "has left the building?" Maybe shame and guilt from your past is keeping you from enjoying intimacy? It is not unusual for couples to experience sexual intimacy challenges at some point. In my experience with couples struggling in this area, it is not typically a desire, passion, or function problem. Rather, it is a problem with understanding intimacy! Life's challenges can disrupt a couple’s ability to connect. This lack of connection left unchecked can lead to feelings of loneliness—as if you and your spouse no longer know each other. Let me give you hope that this can change. The two of you can have the intimacy that you have both longed for—intimacy that is filled with the kind of love and passion that every marriage should experience! As long as you both are willing to do what it takes to learn how to be truly intimate with each other, you will experience each other in a whole new way, a very intimate way!
When it comes to working with couples, families and individuals, I have more than 35 years of personal experience as a wife and over 30 years as a mother with two daughters. My own life experiences, combined with my education and training, allow me to help my clients move toward restoration and healing and improve their relationships to better than they could have ever imagined. To do so, I work very hard at helping my clients and I expect them to work hard as well. My goal is for your marriage to thrive to the point that you would not need my help anymore.
I hope you will allow me to help you work through the challenges you are facing. I am truly passionate about helping others to be all that they were created to be. Contact me here.